Pivovarova

elephant

white elephant, pink elephant, red elephant.

i finally got the username i've always wanted on this website. it is now my most private livejournal, at the same time it is a time capsule to when i was a snotty, opinionated tween with no life experiences to back up such uppity, bitter words. nonetheless, i remain a sharp and callous debater when i get passionate. but more than ever in my life, i have strong emotions. i'm not that cold, distant teenager who didn't like little kids and judged everyone.

i feel so much i wish i didn't, but it's like i feel for everything i really didn't when i was younger. be it anger, sadness, fear, worry, ecstacy, lust, love, compassion, pride, envy, disgust... i could go on. back then i wasn't half as fleshed out... bare... as i am now. i feel so deeply for everything. mostly for myself and everything that i could have been by now. who i was before... who i am now... hardly the same, yet familiar. i simply feel like i have grown. whether it's good or bad growth i'm not so sure.

nonetheless, figured i'd make a post here too. public, because fuck it. socks was a good username too. now all the personal accounts i've ever had possess a handle i'd never want to leave. they are all time capsules. like the other volumes of my life i've stored away in diaries and sketchbooks, photographs and polaroids i'll never abandon as long as i can. why not preserve and relive my most intimate memories and secrets, and maybe leave a relic when i go.
Pivovarova

Candystripelegs

- Pick 10 songs.
- Translate them from English to German to French, then back to English in an online translator.
- Have people guess what songs they are.
- If they have a line through them, they've already been guessed.

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In other news: All I had that was remotely cool this weekend was Journalism Day at FIU on Saturday. It was a pain to wake up and be there for so long. It was a pain to deal with my mom that day, being stupid and stupid, oh yeah, and stupid. Went with Cindy, got there late and was really hungry. I met Viviana (berryfondue) completely out of the blue and that was the highlight of my day basically. There was this chick in the editorial thing we were at was talking like she was Gandhi and it was lol. Ate some foods. Got my photos critiqued. Went home and didn't go shopping with Alex/Danny as I was supposed to. Later on I was in self-depreciation mode, and I still am. I hate being a woman sometimes. Today I've done nothing except have cramps and sleep and get dirty doing that god forsaken still life. I'm not doing anything else, FUCK that. Watched Knocked Up with my parents, they didn't like it as much as I did. Ate chinese food. My hands are really cold. Torn between what's cool about having a boyfriend and what's not. In the end, I don't really care.
  • Current Music
    "SXRT" Bloc Party
Pivovarova

Only one hiccup

Two years ago today I was at an amazing concert.

In other news:
1. I Love New York 2!
2. A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila!
3. Boondocks!
4. Fucking diet.
5. Fucking excersise.
6. Fucking homecoming dress.
7. Now I feel frustrated.
8. I feel that art will eventually lighten up.
9. Why did I offer myself up for so many stories this issue.
10. Need to order my 50mm lens!
11. Why isn't my pool done, god damn.
12. Need to burn a CD for art next week.
13. I need to talk to Popeye about my chemistry grade. He's an idiot, Jesus.
14. Longest list I've made in a while.
15. My hands are cold.
16. I am cold.
17. I haven't taken a shower yet.
18. I still feel empty.

Cool stuff.
  • Current Music
    "Letters to Elise" The Cure
Pivovarova

Carrot flowers

Saturday was Jessica's birthday shindig which was pleasing, although we (being Alex/Danny/Maria/Madelyn) wreaked havoc all over poor Dolphin Mall. Jessica doesn't want to turn sixteen, she says she feels old. It's funny because, I feel like I want to age, but every birthday that's passed I don't feel any much older. I want to be a baby forever but I also want to feel what it's like to be an adult. I don't know, the future seems so scary, but I hope everything I ever want to do is able to be done. I don't know how I'd feel if I was unaccomplished, in the long run. I mean, I've felt that before, the emptiness you feel when you know you've done a poor job on something you know you could've made amazing. It's such a terrible feeling. Hopefully later on, my efforts will be rewarded. I'll make it happen.
  • Current Music
    Neutral Milk Hotel
Pivovarova

Miso pretty


Today was fun. School wise, not very. Art was the same, except I was trying to finish literature homework. Literature was alright, I greatly prefer story discussion/analysis than writing. We were asked what our definition of "cheating" was (relationship-wise) and my view is so... different from most people. I feel like I'm wrong or something. Economy was boring, usual. Spanish was boring, usual. But after school I went to Sunset with the gals (Cindy + Kevin/Joel/Carlos) and it was great lulz. The whole time was just fun and I want to do it again. The picture above has my cute little tokidoki milk bottle and I love him. Everytime I go to UO now I'm going to buy one, I hope I don't get the same ones. I want them all! Especially the chocolate milk and latte ones. I really liked today. There are more pictures from today but I can't really type this out:

  • Current Music
    Bloc Party
Pivovarova

No means yes

Lately I feel so dull, I'm just sitting here sometimes, staring at my screen, at my hands, looking at the wrinkles, looking at the back of my hands. I don't know why I feel like this lately, I think all the good times last Friday all came back in the form if sadness the day after, which is kind of funny. Saturday I just felt so disgusting. I spent the day reading old entries in my journal and feeling bad about it. Have I changed for the better? Why don't boys like me more? It's so shitty. Fucking teenagers. And whatever, my grades in chemistry/math are extremely unsatisfactory. And it's just so ridiculous. I want to have a recess already. I want to indulge myself in a wonderful book. But then I look at myself and I just want things to happen without effort. Sometimes I wish life was like that.
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated
Pivovarova

Like-a dah rivah fro

You wan won ton soup?
Happy birfday Hannah baby! You're legal now, that means I can bang you all the time!
Today was awesome. Basically spent tha' whole day with my frans! More details later, maybe!

In other news: Bombed da chemistry test, wow. No positive connotations here.
  • Current Music
    Billy Idol
Pivovarova

I really like this

Working in newspaper with some music on. We've sang to Queen, The Clash, The Ramones, The Rolling Stones. There's no Cure though :c I'm going to have to change that, lulz. But really? We should work with music more, it makes the mood a lot happier. In other news, I plan to catch up on a lot of work I haven't done, and I have to start kicking some ass in math. So this means, stop eating crap, Karina. I'm managing though, I'm going to do all of Wheeler's worksheets this weekend, and try to do some art homework ahead of time. I'm also going to pay more attention in chemistry. Even though, it's practically impossible.
  • Current Music
    Paint It Black
Pivovarova

Chrysanthemums


I've been busy:
- Getting my sunglasses back from Cindy *hint: Give me my sunglasses back
- Being sick
- Rewriting my paper for Lopez
- Reading up on crap for newspaper
- Taking photos for news paper, specifically
    - Staying after school for drama rehearsals
    - Going to take pictures of indoor rock climbing
- Being fat

It's pretty hectic, I don't know. I'm not used to being so active in school, at all. Not in the slightest. And I haven't even begun going to games. I need to. Anyone want to make it sort of ritual? Go with me to the games and I do my thing and we chill or something? Aw, come on, I'll makeout with you under the bleachers! This is an offer you cannot refuse, bb's (especially Jillian, mrowr). But yeah, I feel so tired out. I hate not being able to go home directly after school, god damn. That half an hour after school feels like an eternity. A really hot eternity too, since it's scorching outside. But alas, I finally have obligations. Can't say I'm bored.

In other news, like four kids in AP Literature have gotten their first offense for plaigarism. L-O-fucking-L. Really, they just got a nice spank right there. Now they get to go home and show their parents that they have copied work/allowed their work to be copied and have to do some ridiculous thing. Who copies word for word? Really? They're smart.

MRAWRARAR brb fapping to dead people.
  • Current Music
    "Love Vigilante" New Order